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A Friendly Table



The Dayton Daily News reported that five area Friendly’s, the last of a restaurant chain in Dayton, closed without warning on Monday.  While most might scroll past this story, my heart sank a little. You see, I have a long history with this restaurant. Which might sound a little (or a lot) silly, but before you judge – let me explain.

Growing up, I regularly went to Mass with my grandparents. While my grandmother was a one of the best cooks I know, we would sometimes be treated to a meal or ice cream at Friendly’s. Don’t get me wrong; even at a young age I knew it was a bribe.  

I didn’t realize the family history behind this bribe until I was a little older when my aunt visiting from California took me out to lunch. Where did I want to go? Friendly’s of course, you can get lunch AND ice cream. The lunch conversation swirled to many topics but one of them stood out. It was there that my aunt told me how my grandparents used the same “trick” on her growing up and going to Mass. I don’t remember the other things we discussed but I remember how special I felt when my aunt took the time to share a meal with me. Not just share a meal with me, listened to me, asked me questions, and I got the chance to listen to her stories and memories.

Fast forward to my teen years.  My youth pastor was also a Friendly’s fan and we found ourselves there on more than one occasion. Now my youth pastor, Robin, changed my life in many ways but one of the ways was her ice cream order.  She ordered Butter Crunch with Health Bar as the topping, but on the side. I had one bite and I was a believer. That was my ice cream order ever since. 

Let’s push the fast forward button one more time as we travel through memory lane…okay stop.  Following my youth pastor, aunt, and grandparents’ (although without the bribing) lead, I found myself often taking out students to talk about life, faith, relationships, family, God, the future, and so many other things. And wouldn’t you know it, there was a Friendly’s on the same street as the church – if that isn’t predestination I don’t know what is. Some of my favorite memories of being in ministry with students was simply sitting at a table over ice cream (sometimes a meal). It was at that table where students were able to just be themselves, share what was going on in their lives, be heard without judgment, and hopefully felt affirmed and encouraged. 

While I would like to think that Friendly’s ice cream is magic and gets people to open up – it’s probably more of the sharing of space and time. In our hurried lives, it seems like at the table we can allow time to stand still and just be present (if we follow the rule “phones off – friends on”). Sitting face to face (another reason why same side sitting is not the way to go), sharing a meal naturally draws people together.  It’s hard to be mad at someone and share a meal isn’t it? Meals bring people together, strengthen friendships and family ties, and I’ve found can bring peace to confused situations.

So while I might be a bit disappointed that sharing ice cream (and maybe a meal) at Friendly’s will no longer be a thing, I will carry those memories of people I sat across from and was simply present. It isn’t the place that is important; it is the coming to the table, “breaking bread”, and being where my feet are – in the moment.

What about you? Is there a restaurant that holds special memories? Or is it times around the dinner table at home that you think of fondly? The most famous of meals is coming up! This Thanksgiving and really, all year long, I hope you strengthen bonds and relationships with the people you share a meal with. Even if that meal is ice cream.  


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