The countdown is on – there are only a few more hours left before the end of the year! Once again, in the last few hours and minutes of the year, I find myself processing what has taken place and looking toward the future with a spirit of hope. This end of year reflection on the power of words is something that I’ve found to be a helpful and meaningful practice.
One of the quotes that I’ve found meaningful when moving into a new season, year, etc. and not wanting to take the baggage that is the past is this
"Yearning for a new way will not produce it. Only ending the old way can do that.
You cannot hold onto the old, all the while declaring that you want something new.
The old will defy the new;
The old will deny the new;
The old will decry the new.
There is only one way to bring in the new. You must make room for it."
-Neal Donald Walsch
2018 – Celebrate
In thinking through the word I would select for 2018, I was inspired by Colony House’s “Moving Forward.” At the end of 2018, I wanted to CELEBRATE that I had MOVED forward from a difficult era. I read Neale Donald Walsch’s quote in Richard Rohr’s devotion at the end of 2017 which also helped to inspire the idea of celebrating moving forward.
While that was the start of the idea, I realized that this word would also help me tackle my own worst critic – me.
Since I can remember, I have always found it difficult for me to really celebrate personal or professional victories. I swore for a long time that I was a Type 1 on the Enneagram because of it (spoiler alert: I’m not). While I acknowledge something might have gone well or is exciting, I can’t help but think, “this is how it could have gone better,” or “I can’t wait for this next thing.” This internal drive to always improve would take over my thoughts rather than focusing on and celebrate the present.
When it comes to “public praise” forget it! When asking for feedback, I’m looking for things I can improve, not things that went well. I can’t take a compliment without getting extremely awkward - even when it comes to texting – I feel like I have a physical reaction. My face blushes, I look down/away, and I feel uncomfortable. A common response to any personal or professional acknowledgement will be, “Ew. Stop with the love feast already.” I apologize for my rude-ness. I have had a mentor tell me numerous times to just say “Thank you.” So between personal and interpersonal acceptance of celebrations, I choose this word.
Another reason I selected this word was because while I struggle to celebrate personal victories – I la, la, la LOVE to celebrate other people. So, the idea of focusing on celebrating with others was an aspect of this year I looked forward to!
And celebrate we did! This year, I was able to be present for:
- Friends’ graduations/ graduation parties
- Moves to people’s new houses and apartments
- Witnessing people achieve milestones they have worked hard for
- Birthdays (one friend we even surprised her for)
- Babies (expecting and arriving)
- Jobs (leaving and getting)
- Being present for honoring and celebrating the lives of those who passed on
- And honestly, sometimes it was just celebrating with others getting through the day
When I look at my Best 9 of Instagram this year, I smile because each picture was a true celebration. From ordination/ministry celebrations (top left and middle, center left, bottom left), to traveling to Disney World (center) and New Orleans (top right) to party with friends/family, and rounding out with good old fashion fun with some of my favorite people (center right, bottom middle and right). I’m CELEBRATING a great 2018!
2019 – Impact
This being the 6th year of choosing a “word of the year” I was surprised to find this was the first year I really struggled with the choice. The word “impact” immediately came to mind when I started processing, but it seemed like a cop out (see below). “Impact” is a noun or verb and indicates an influence or effect on someone (notice how it doesn’t say whether it is a positive or negative effect – but more on that later). It took some very patient friends being willing to listen, ask great questions, and offers some insight into word meanings (it helps when one of your best friends is a Phd student in rhetoric) in order to help make my decision. The decision came back to the first word that came to mind – IMPACT.
The reason the word felt like a “cop out” was because one of the roles I will be moving into in 2019 will be serving with Summer Impact. Summer Impact is one of the ministries of Hyde Park Community Church where we invite groups (locally or regionally) to come and serve for a week alongside ministries in inner-city Cincinnati. Great name for an opportunity like this, right?
So while the word “impact” kept coming up professionally, this word also kept coming up when it came to the Enneagram. I have spent almost the last 3 years trying to figure out what number I am. I understand that we are more than just our Enneagram numbers, but this tool fascinates and intrigues me. To me, the Enneagram helps us understand ourselves and others while also encouraging growth rather than being stuck in old (read: unhealthy) patterns of behavior and thoughts. It is through seeing our strengths and our shadows that we are able see and let go of toxic habits, discover new insights, and appreciate who we really are.
Also, if Enneagram is a word you have never heard of or you are a subscriber to the Enneagram and you are a young adult in the Cincinnati area – there is an Enneagram Weekend February 22-23, 2019. If you don’t live in Cincinnati and want to learn more, I would check out some of the links from this post.
Last month, I did a typing interview with Leslie Hersbherger and it was one of the first times I felt really understood - I dare even say "seen." When I had taken the quiz before, I felt like I was all over the place! It didn't help that friends believed they saw me as a Type 2 when something about that number didn't sit right with me*. When Leslie typed me as a social 8 and began to describe the main characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses - it was SPOT ON!
*It also made sense that friends identified me as a 2. One reason being the partiarachy dictating that women, especially women in the church, are told (implicitly and explicitly) that they should look/act/think like a 2. The second reason being that 8's move to 2 in health.
ANYWAY, this Enneagram story fits in because one of the growth areas of the 8's is centered around the idea of "impact." The impact we have on ourselves and the impact we have on others is not always something we are aware of, especially in the moment. While I would want my impact/influence/effect to be POSITIVE I know that certainly isn't always the case. My rhetoric friend pointed out that there are negative connotations to this word. For instance, the related synonyms are, "clash, aftermath, and repercussion." In summary, she explained that, "while it can be used to indicate general 'influence,' it is also associated with collision and conflict in a more aggressive sense."
There is so much more I can share about the social 8 and how impact is a growing edge but I want to let the word take shape over the next year. By the end of 2019, my hope is that I will be more aware of the impact (both negative and positive) I am having on myself and others. If the impact is healthy than it can be celebrated (full circle with 2018). If the impact is unhealthy or negative, it's time to review, re-evaluate, and reconsider moving forward.
Are you someone yearning for a new way, opportunity, view, etc. in this next season? If so, what are some of the old words that you want to let go of? What are some of the new words that you want to integrate and make room for?
Last month, I did a typing interview with Leslie Hersbherger and it was one of the first times I felt really understood - I dare even say "seen." When I had taken the quiz before, I felt like I was all over the place! It didn't help that friends believed they saw me as a Type 2 when something about that number didn't sit right with me*. When Leslie typed me as a social 8 and began to describe the main characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses - it was SPOT ON!
*It also made sense that friends identified me as a 2. One reason being the partiarachy dictating that women, especially women in the church, are told (implicitly and explicitly) that they should look/act/think like a 2. The second reason being that 8's move to 2 in health.
ANYWAY, this Enneagram story fits in because one of the growth areas of the 8's is centered around the idea of "impact." The impact we have on ourselves and the impact we have on others is not always something we are aware of, especially in the moment. While I would want my impact/influence/effect to be POSITIVE I know that certainly isn't always the case. My rhetoric friend pointed out that there are negative connotations to this word. For instance, the related synonyms are, "clash, aftermath, and repercussion." In summary, she explained that, "while it can be used to indicate general 'influence,' it is also associated with collision and conflict in a more aggressive sense."
There is so much more I can share about the social 8 and how impact is a growing edge but I want to let the word take shape over the next year. By the end of 2019, my hope is that I will be more aware of the impact (both negative and positive) I am having on myself and others. If the impact is healthy than it can be celebrated (full circle with 2018). If the impact is unhealthy or negative, it's time to review, re-evaluate, and reconsider moving forward.
Are you someone yearning for a new way, opportunity, view, etc. in this next season? If so, what are some of the old words that you want to let go of? What are some of the new words that you want to integrate and make room for?
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